there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
