lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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