Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
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