i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
