New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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