dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
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