You're my little dorito
are you so shy because you have an std?
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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