is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
