ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
