when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
