yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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