weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
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