I'm really into asian looking animals
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
