I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
