Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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