My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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