my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I believe in your delicious
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Randomize
