So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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