is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
