I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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