sarcasm needs its own font
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
