So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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