someone get that fucking seahorse.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
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