He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I don't deserve a penis
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
