Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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