i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
