forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
