I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
