worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Also, beer. Big fan.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
