If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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