Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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