my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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