I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
