I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
