just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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