I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
