forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
