no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Randomize
