Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
