I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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