I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
