Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize
