I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
