So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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