he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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