I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
