she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I think I just shit out all my problems.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
