8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
