sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
