wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
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